The week, as the counter sees it
The first sign of Songkran at the bar is not water. It is the sound. Around the eleventh the pickups start going up and down Second Road with a barrel in the back and a speaker on the cab, and from behind the counter at six in the evening you can hear them through the wall of the hall, which is a wall that keeps most of Pattaya out. By the thirteenth the gate on Soi Diana has a puddle in front of it that does not dry until the twentieth.
People arrive wet and cold. The hall runs at about twenty degrees on a normal night and Songkran does not change the thermostat, so a shirt that was soaked on Beach Road at five is a problem at seven. The regulars know this and come with a dry one in a bag. The first-timers know it by the second night. May keeps a stack of bar towels under the counter that week for the tables rather than the glasses, and by the fifteenth they have all gone home in somebody's pocket.
The band plays. This is the thing people ask most and the answer is yes, on its usual nights, unless the Buddhist calendar puts an alcohol-free day in the week, in which case the stage is dark and so is every other bar in Thailand. The crowd is younger than the rest of the year and more Thai, because Thai families come down from Bangkok for the water, and the late set on the fifteenth is the one night of the year the tables nearest the stage sing the Thai songs louder than the band.
What to do with it, from someone who has done four
Do the water once, properly. Beach Road on the thirteenth or the nineteenth, from about two, with a bag round your neck and nothing in your pockets you would mind losing. Give it three hours. Walk back up Soi Diana rather than getting on anything with wheels, because the roads in Songkran week are the most dangerous of the year and every taxi driver is as wet as you are. The gate of the hall is the first dry ground since the beach.
Then come in, sit at the counter, and dry out in the cold. The pour takes two minutes and the shirt takes about twenty. By eight the band is on and you are in the one room in Central Pattaya where nobody is holding a bucket, and the noise from the street, which you can still hear if you listen for it, makes the hall feel like the inside of something.
The other days, avoid the two main roads between noon and dusk and you can have a normal evening. Soi Buakhao gets wet but not soaked. LK Metro is a lane and stays mostly dry. Our soi is quiet, because the water goes where the crowds are and the crowds are at the beach. The bar opens at six on all seven days of the week. The tables along the stage edge go by half past seven every night, which for a week in April makes it feel like a week of Fridays.