How a society day runs, from the sign-up sheet to the trophy
A Pattaya golf society is a pub with a tee time. The sheet goes up on the bar's counter early in the week with the course, the date and the price of the day, which covers the green fee, the caddy, the transport and, at the honest ones, the beer on the way back. You write your name on it. On the morning, a minibus leaves from outside the bar at seven or eight, with a cool box in the aisle and a dozen people who have known each other for years or since last Tuesday, and it is at the first tee an hour later.
The courses are the reason. Within an hour of Central Pattaya there are more than twenty, several of them designed by people whose names are on courses in Scotland and Florida, in condition that a municipal course at home would not recognise, with a caddy who reads the greens better than you do and does not judge. The society has an arrangement with most of them. The format is a stableford, off handicaps kept by the society's handicap secretary, who is the least popular and most necessary man in the bar.
The bus is back at the counter by four. There is a presentation, with a trophy or an envelope, and the handicap secretary's speech, and then the day's golf becomes the evening's argument. At our counter the presentation runs into the band at nine, which is the reason more than one society has moved its Thursday to us. The people at the Thursday table near the counter, who the regulars' page describes, include two societies' worth of handicaps.
What to bring, what to expect, and why the bar matters
Bring a handicap certificate if you have one and an honest number if you do not; the society will find your real handicap by the third round anyway. Bring clubs or hire them at the course, where the hire sets are better than most people's own. Bring cash for the caddy, who will be paid at the end of the round and thanked properly. Wear a collar. Do not wear denim. Do not bring anyone who is going to complain about the heat, because the heat is the day and the tee times are early to beat it.
Expect to be looked after. A society is a club without a clubhouse and it takes its members as it finds them: a first-timer is paired with somebody who knows the course and the bus stops at the same 7-Eleven it has stopped at for a decade. Expect the ranked list at the top of this page to be a list of bars first and societies second, because the society lives at the bar and the bar's Google score is the only number about it that exists. Expect the honest gap on the list to be honest: our own society is new, and the ones above it have been running since before we opened.
Why the bar matters is the evening. A society day that ends at a bar with a kitchen across the road, a Guinness tap, a counter long enough for the presentation and a band from nine three metres from the trophy is a society day with a second half. The tables by the stage hold a dozen and we hold them for a society that messages the day before. The trophy goes on the counter. The band, if asked in a break, will play the winner a song, and has.